Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Maybe We Should Ask God First...
Sure, I was wrong about BYU staying in the MWC and my source looks about as reliable as a T-Mobile phone, but I’m glad BYU made the right decision. Too many people are bagging on BYU’s decision to go independent in football and join the WCC in every other sport. It is the right decision for the One True Team.
Look, if you are a BYU fan, you already suffer from a crippling inferiority complex, coupled with intense short man’s syndrome with a side of douchebaggery. You probably read that last sentenced and shouted “NUH!” before checking your carefully coifed hairdo. You’re BYU! The last thing you need is to continue being publicly humiliated in regional and conference play.
It must get difficult year after year to claim pre season rights to the role of BCS buster only to fall short to a decidedly better Utah, Boise State, TCU, Houston, Hawaii, Fresno State, Nevada, etc. I can only imagine the nights filled with sorrow after having to go back to your message boards and re-read all of your prophesies of the on-and-off the field superiority of your football team.
This move gives BYU fans the perfect out. From now on, they are independent, so they don’t feel obligated to defend themselves during discussions of “conference pride,” or “loyalty” or “honesty and integrity.”
BYU no longer must worry about being constantly shown up by in-state rivals. They can now continue unfettered their quest to be who they want to be: A peculiar people. Not peculiar as in “unique and treasured” but peculiar as in “unsettling weirdoes who think they are better than everyone because God loves them more and therefore they shouldn’t be constrained to mere conference play.”
Now, finally, BYU can showcase itself to the world and spread the message of poor sportsmanship and self-righteousness to the four quarters of the country. Maybe some huge conference like the Big 12 will see how superior BYU is to other mid-majors and select them to join their ol’ boys club.
BYU is now the Dungeons and Dragons nerd asking out the hot girl. He saw it work in the movies and he is sure he has more to offer than all the dumb jocks she usually dates. They are soul-mates. They belong together. He just knows she’ll say yes.
Sorry, nerds. This is the real world. You are not getting invited to the Big 12 in two years. You are one illegitimate pregnancy away from fading into obscurity.